Episode 18: Xenogears Part Two–Retro Bohemian Rhapsody

Episode 18: Xenogears Part Two–Retro Bohemian Rhapsody

Platform: PlayStation. Also currently available on PSN.

Japanese Release Date: 2/11/98

U.S. Release Date: 10/20/98

Difficulty: Moderate

Price: $89.95 for a new hard copy on Amazon, $9.99 on PSN

Length: Long (80-100 hours) 

Podcast: Download, iTunes, PodOMatic

WARNING:   

THIS IS A PRETTY SCATHING REVIEW. IF YOU REALLY LIKE XENOGEARS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SKIP THIS. 

Lightning's Review

 DOTH THOU DESIRE POWER Y/N

 

The Good

I have to admit, this is really hard for me. *sigh*

• The game has a crazy awesome soundtrack that blows FFVII’s out of the water. If you play Xenogears and like it, buying this soundtrack would be worthwhile. Hell, even if you played Xenogears and DIDN’T like it, buying this soundtrack would be worthwhile.
• The Gear battles, especially further on into the game, were enjoyable, requiring you to employ strategic thinking in equipping and deciding which party members to use in upcoming battles. In battle itself, functions such as the booster and fuel management keep you on your toes and force you to make hard decisions.
• The anime art style of the game is endearing and looks great in comparison to some of its peers, such as Final Fantasy VII and Wild Arms. The graphics make the game functional and don’t leave you guessing as to where the hell an exit is – this is especially important in the era of early 3D, where such problems were rampant. 

The Bad

• All talk and no play makes gamers bored as FUCK. Would you like to have a nice text adventure with pointless dialogue that lasts for two hours, perhaps punctuated by one or two battles? This game does this to you…multiple times.
• I don’t find the religious and psychological themes of the game objectionable, I just find them…bizarre. Citan diagnoses Fei with schizophrenia at one point in the game, when he actually has multiple personality disorder. The Freudian and Jungian themes are seemingly there just to be pretentious and don’t really add to the story (especially the Jungian ones). The religious themes? I don’t even know what the hell is going on there.
• Except when you’re in the Gears, battle is dull and basically consists of button mashing and grabbing snacks and reading while you’re waiting for the screens to load. Ten turn battles? This is totally possible here…JUST FOR REGULAR BATTLES.
• I get very angry when I have to consult an internet source just to sort out what is going on in a game – in this case, it’s an internet translation of an artbook called Perfect Works, which didn’t even make it to the U.S. Can there be a journal or dictionary in-game please, like Final Fantasy XIII or Star Ocean 4? Gamers complain about even having “extracurricular reading” in games that have dictionaries, and I have no idea why they give Xenogears a pass when you even have to take an extra step to figure out the plot. Xenosaga (episodes 1 and 3, anyway) did it right when it provided dictionaries.
• Speaking of the plot, it’s convoluted. It’s not deep. It’s just confusing. Don’t let the Freudian and Jungian window-dressing fool you – it just makes things even MORE convoluted. And I HAVE studied Freudian and Jungian concepts.

The Ugly

• Disc 2. The developers ran out of some serious budget. ‘Nuff said.
• The game’s end movie. I saw a lot more of Krelian than I ever wanted to see.

 

Get used to seeing this.

The Lowdown

For me, playing Xenogears once would have been enough; however, we wanted to review it and I was subjected to it once again. That being said, I would suggest playing it just because it’s considered an iconic RPG of the ‘90s and it will give you some perspective on how RPGs have evolved over time. I also would suggest folks who have played it before play it again – a lot of the critical acclaim I see for the game is from reviewers who played it 10 or more years ago and probably don’t have the freshest memories.

Either way, try downloading it on PSN for your PS3 or Sony handheld. The game is easily accessible, cheap, and will give you around 80-100 hours for your money. 

Music Credits:

Xenogears OST

RPG Roundup Theme Song: "Video Game Theme," J. Arthur Keenes Band. Creative Commons Attribution License. 

Episode 17: Xenogears Part One—Total S in the Gas Chamber

Episode 17: Xenogears Part 1—Total S in the Gas Chamber

Podcast: Download, iTunes, PodOmatic

Terra's Review:

A very long game means a very long episode! To avoid subjecting our listeners to a four hour episode, Xenogears has been broken up into two parts. Part two and a full review will be online in a few weeks. For now, here’s some advice for other people planning to marathon Xenogears:

1. Everything will take at least twice as long as you planned. If you want to get through this game in one four day weekend, you may need to give up on sleeping, bathing, and going to the bathroom.
2. Enjoy the first 15 hours of the game while you can—Hammer is coming and it’s all downhill from there. Bro.
3. Mistrust any stuffed animal that the characters describe as “lukewarm.”
4. Soylent Green is people! Wells were people! Your Gear is made of out of people! Assume that EVERYTHING in this game is people. Your console is people. Your controller is people. YOU’RE PEOPLE.
5. You can’t go wrong with Shotgunnova’s Walkthrough. Come for the dungeon maps, stay for observations such as Hammer being ”a pince-nez-wearin' crossbreed between Splinter from TMNT and Joe Camel.”
6. Know that Xenogears will never pass up an opportunity to traumatize the party members. Or the player.
7. Take a moment to appreciate the times when all the party members are together and you can choose which of them you want in a fight. These are rarer than you think.
8. Take advantage of these when you can: 
   
   They get rarer the farther into the game you get.
9. Remember that Citan is an asshole.
10. Have fun! And a lot of booze.
    

Shotgunnova’s description is accurate. Bro.

Msuic Credits:

RPG Roundup Theme Song: "Video Game Theme," J. Arthur Keenes Band. Creative Commons Attribution License.

Xenogears OST

Episode 16: Tales of Xillia Part Two – Bazonga Bonanza!

Episode 16: Tales of Xillia Part Two – Bazonga Bonanza!

Platform: PS3

Release Date:   

     Japan: Sept 8, 2011. 

     North America: Aug 6, 2013. 

     Europe & Australia Aug 9, 2013.

Difficulty: Easy

Pricing: $27.46 on Amazon, $39.99 to download from PSN

Podcast: Download, iTunes, PodOmatic

Terra’s Review

Who’s high on cocaine? This guy!

The Good

• The storyline was complex and well plotted without being confusing. Even with side events such as quests and character skits, the game’s pacing never felt bogged down or like a grind. Characters’ actions and personalities helped to drive the plot, rather than the plot forcing character actions. The final boss made sense with what had come before in the game and was set up as an antagonist, but not a mustache twirling villain, which was refreshing.
• Character development. So much character development. While the game largely focuses on Jude and Millia, each party member has sections of the storyline devoted to them as well as optional subevents and skits that shed more light on their backgrounds and futures. With only six party members, the game was really able to focus and make sure that they all had a role to play in the plot.
• Costume changes. Tired of seeing Jude in the same outfit over and over again? Wanting revenge on a certain character because he keeps backstabbing the party? You can do something about that! Completing certain quests in the game will result in full costumes or costume accessories (such as hats, sunglasses, and a snot bubble that constantly hangs from the character’s nose). For a few dollars, you can also buy new costumes for the characters as DLC. These range from themed outfits such “beach” and “school” to outfits based on the costumes of prior Tales games characters. Some of them also come with different battle music.

The Bad

• Even with setting the game on the highest difficulty level, the fights were still a little too easy (except for certain boss fights, where the difficulty level spiked dramatically). Xillia could have relabeled Hard mode Moderate and taken the difficulty up a notch for Hard.
• The battle system involved too damn many buttons. It’s like the developers sat around examining the PS3 controller and trying to figure out how many of its buttons they could use and how many combinations they could come with. There were features we never used because it was too much to remember in the heat of battle.
• The downside to DLC: If you have some extra money lying around in your bank account, you can buy increased levels and gald through the PSN store. Correction—If you have extra money and no shame. Spend your money on costumes instead. Earn your levels and money like the rest of us.

The Ugly

• TEACH ME ABOUT BAZONGAS!
• The biggest downside to DLC: Rowen in his bathing suit.

Just gonna let that picture speak for itself.

The lowdown:  I love this game and it has easily made its way onto my list of favorites. Everyone should play it and I can’t wait for Xilia-2.

Music Credits:

RPG Roundup Theme Song: "Video Game Theme," J. Arthur Keenes Band. Creative Commons Attribution License.

Tales of Xillia OST