Episode 26: Hatoful Boyfriend – Everybirdie’s on Crack

Episode 26: Hatoful Boyfriend – Everybirdie’s on Crack

Platform:  PS4, PS Vita, PC, OSX

Release Date:  Hurtful Complete Edition: JP 10/30/11, World Wide 2/15/12. Remakes released World Wide on 9/4/14 and 7/21/15.

Difficulty: Ummm…some of the full endings can be tricky to get? It's a visual novel, difficulty doesn’t really apply.

Pricing: $10

Podcast: Download, iTunes, PodOmatic

Terra:  HATOFUL BOYFRIEND WHAT  A GAME

Lightning:  Questions We Had While Playing Hatoful Boyfriend

"Wha..." is the correct response to this game

Terra:  HOW DO PIGEONS HOLD GUNS?

Lightning:  Don't ask me. They developed opposable thumbs?

Terra:  Apparently, since they can also drive scooters.

Lightning:  Let's not even go there. Do they have some kind of prosthetic leg so they can hit the brakes?

Terra:  Maybe they have hand breaks!

brakes*

Lightning:  You can spell.

Unlike this game.

Terra:  Hey, it's designed for birds, by birds, what do you expect. Pigeons probably translated it.

Do pigeons build buildings? Or have they moved into places humans abandoned?

Lightning:  I saw some derelict skyscrapers in the game, so if they do, they don't very well.

HOW DO PIGEONS USE COMPUTERS?

Terra:  WING TYPING

They peck with their beaks?

How do they cook?

Lightning:  They peck with their peckers? Uuuuuuuuuuugh, I went there...

Terra:  You wouldn't be you if you didn't.

How big are these pigeons supposed to be?

Lightning:  It sounded like regular bird size.

Terra:  Then how is the main character being threatened by birds? HOW DO YOU GET KILLED BY THE CREEPY DOCTOR IF HE IS NORMAL BIRD SIZED?

Lightning:  DON'T ASK ME HOW A PATRIDGE CAN MURDER A TEENAGER. SHE COULD PROBABLY STOMP ON HIM

And what does the bird gang do to kill you? Fly in your damn face?

Terra:  They don't even seem to be flying at her!

Actually, I don't think we see any of these birds fly.

Lightning:  Maybe she dies of fear.

From their mohawks.

Terra:  Ride scooters, go for hikes, swim...but no flying.

Lightning:  I said moHAWKS. Get it?

Terra:  Hahahaha

The flying thing is bothering me? Does the game ever reference the birds flying?

Lightning:  I think so...

Terra:  I'm not replaying it to find out.

Lightning:  But they don't care. They love to swim.

Their wet feathers gets the main character hot and bothered, supposedly!

Terra:  There are screenshots to prove it!

We really can prove it.

Lightning:  I'm not replaying it either. Trophies are 100%. NO THANK YOU.

Terra:  Hatoful BF has served its purpose.

Lightning:  Its very shallow purpose,

Terra:  It kept us entertained for a few hours. And ruined the Nutcracker.

Lightning:  Argh, I'll never enjoy the Nutcracker AGAIN.

Terra:  You'll always think of the creepy murder Dr.

Lightning:  And I'll start laughing hysterically if I hear Jingle Bells.

Terra:  Why did this game use so much Christmas music? Was it cheap?

Lightning:  Probably as cheap as this game. WHICH IS A GOOD THING.

Terra:  Final question then: Was this game worth ten bucks?

For the full effect, hum dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy while you look at this picture.

Music Credits:
RPG Roundup Theme Song: "Video Game Theme," J. Arthur Keenes Band. Creative Commons Attribution License.

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy

Hatoful Boyfriend

Episode 25: Final Fantasy VI: Part II – Atma Ponders on the Toilet

Episode 25: Final Fantasy VI: Part II—Atma Ponders on the Toilet

Platform: SNES, PlayStation, Game Boy Advance, Wii/Wii U, and Android and iOS.

Release Date: 

Japan: 4/2/1994

NA: 10/11/1994 (As Final Fantasy III)

Difficulty: Moderate

Pricing: Play Store: $7.99 (during 50% off sale), Wii: 800 Wii Points/$8

Podcast: Download, iTunes, PodOmatic

Terra’s Review

Kefka’s Tower: At least there’s a place to take a shit!

The Good

• I don’t even know where to start with the good, I love this game so much.
• The sense of scale. The world is large, the story is epic. The places in the storyline that require you to split up the party to deal with simultaneous enemies adds to the feeling that you’re dealing with a threat that is truly world spanning. It also gives you a reason to care about leveling up and using all of your characters instead of letting all but your favorite four fall by the wayside. You’re going to need almost all of your characters by the time you get to Kefka’s tower!
• Speaking of…Kefka is one of my favorite villains. No sob story, no angst and whining, just pure joy of destruction and making people’s lives hell.
• You fight a train. And an octopus. And mini bosses named after the Three Stooges. For a game that’s dealing in some very heavy subjects—Terra and Celes have basically been raised to be weapons, the deaths of almost everyone in Doma, the Empire’s experiments on Espers, and THE END OF THE WORLD—FF6 doesn’t lose its sense of humor or sense of the absurd.
• There’s a strong emphasis on character development and giving each character a time in the spotlight and a backstory. The only ones that don’t get some focus are the optional secret characters. The second half of the game is especially focused on backstory and character motivations. With the world basically destroyed and Kefka in charge, what motivates these characters to keep fighting?
• The Opera House sequence.

The Bad

• Even though I was just praising the character development, there are some things I wish the game had done differently. Relm and Strago showed up too late in the game to have much of an impact. I also would have liked to see more of the characters interacting with each other. Imagine the conversations Terra and Celes could have had!
• The battle menus could be unwieldly, especially once you’re further along in the game and have accumulated more spells and items. Scrolling through those, trying to find what you want can take valuable time, especially if you’re using the Active Battle System.
• PlayStation only: The long load times.

The Ugly

 

 

 

 

[No comment.]

The lowdown:  I love this game and everyone should play it!

Music Credits

FF6 OST

RPG Roundup Theme Song: "Video Game Theme," J. Arthur Keenes Band. Creative Commons Attribution License.

Episode 24: Dragon Age: Inquisition Part One—Drunken Age

Episode 24: Dragon Age: Inquisition Part One—Drunken Age

Platform: PC, Playstation 3/4, Xbox 360/One

Release Date:  NA & RU: 11/18/2014. AUS 11/20/2014. EU & ZA 11/21/2014, JP 11/27/2014.

Difficulty: Easy—even after upping the difficulty

Pricing: $37-$59.99, depending on platform

Podcast: Download, iTunes, PodOmatic

The Inquisitor, Adriana Trevelyan aka Molly Ringwald

Things Terra Loves About Dragon Age Inquisition In No Particular Order

• So many callbacks to Origins and DA2! Hello past party members! Hello minor character from Oirigins, good to see that being a dwarf who went to study magic worked out for you! Hi Redcliffe! GOOD TO SEE YOU DARKSPAWN. …okay maybe not that last one.
• You can now play as a Qunari!
• Related: The Iron Bull
• Related: Krem
• Mages rule Templars drool.
• Welcome to Orlais, home of fancy parties, creepy masks, and backstabbing assassins!
• Politics and gathering political influence plays a huge role, even larger than it did in the first two games. You get a WAR TABLE and a WAR COUNCIL and are basically kind of building your own little kingdom and army in the mountains.
• Cassandra.
• The return of Varrick and Cassandra’s comedy duo.
• Cullen.
• The way our Inquisitor stares at Cullen’s ass after they make out.
• The Inquisitor and Josephine: BFFs
• Improving and redecorating Skyhold. Will it have an impact on the end of the game? No idea. Is it worth it anyway? Heck Yeah!
• Learning more about Tevintor, home of the creepy slave keeping blood mages!
• Related: Dorian, demonstrating that not everyone from Trevintor is a creepy slave keeping blood mage.
• Miles and miles of areas to explore. Bioware was listening to those DA2 complaints.
• Goat attack!
  

  

I wasn’t kidding about the Inquisitor staring at his ass!

Music Credits

RPG Roundup Theme Song: "Video Game Theme," J. Arthur Keenes Band. Creative Commons Attribution License.  

Dragon Age: Inquisition OST